


Song of Captivity and Freedom

by Cashay



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Alternate Universe - Dark, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Slavery, Angels, M/M, Out of Character, PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Slavery, Trauma, War, Wingfic, Wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-09
Updated: 2013-03-08
Packaged: 2017-12-04 17:36:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/713294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cashay/pseuds/Cashay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will Riker was sent back from the last great Demon War wounded and a broken man. It is chance that leads him to capture an angel that will end up turning his life around. But their time is limited since the next war is already looming at the horizon.</p><p> </p><p>  <b>please read the notes at the beginning for additional warnings!</b></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the shape of things to come

**Author's Note:**

  * For [disturbinglynic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/disturbinglynic/gifts).



> At the end of this fic there is a scene that **can be understood as character death**. What actually happens to the character is open to interpretation. I personally don't think he dies but everyone needs to decide that for themselves.
> 
>  
> 
> This was written for the Wesley/Riker Big Bang and was also my first time writing the two. I hope they're not too ooc^^  
> A big thank you to punk4life1315 over on LJ for the art and for putting up for the mess that was this fic before the edit. I hope you're great *hugs
> 
> Art Masterpost: http://punk4life1315.livejournal.com/164892.html

Will had no idea why he had let himself be talked into going hunting with his friends. They meant well no doubt. Wanted to pull him out of the stupor he had fallen into when they had send him home from the frontline.

His friends, people he had known _before_ and who had changed so much Will felt like he was surrounded by strangers most of the time, were trying to pull him back into the world of normal people. They had tried to bring him to parties where young woman would gush over him, looking at him with big, round eyes and treating him like he had done something glorious. Will missed the battle hardened women of the Forces.

They would ask question about the war, their voices filled with awe and fascination like the war was something to rejoice in. For them it was all a big game, one fantastic story, told by an exotic hero, someone that was so different from them. He was the animal in a cage of gold.

It had made him sick, how they talked and behaved, how they _looked_ at him with those eyes that had never seen a man die in agony, touched him with their hands that had never had any blood on them, talked to him with lips that had never ordered the unspeakable, listened so attentively with ears that had never heard screams of torture. They had never been tainted, never died a thousand deaths just to stay alive. It made him scream and throw up all he had eaten, but only when he was in the loneliness of his own home, he had learned not to let his emotions show around the enemy.

So Will had stopped coming to their parties, had ignored invitations for tea and dinner. They disgusted him with their childish joy for the war that had killed so so many good men, which had cost Will friends and love, happiness, peace and any innocence that he had ever possessed.

Will knew he had his friends worried with his behavior and though the concept of friends that didn’t risk their life for you had become a foreign one he was aware of their good intentions. He felt he owed it to them to try, after all they had taken him in and tried to help the best they could without ever having left their cosy homes.

Money had kept them from being recruited for the war, their wealthy parents had bought them their freedom.

He had never before been on a hunting trip but he wasn’t worried about missing his target, ten years with a gun did that to you. For the first time in three month he had pulled his rifle from the place under his bed where he had securely stashed it. Feeling the familiar weight in his arms made him feel safe and sick at the same time. Too many bad memories that threatened to spill out of the box that Will had all forced them into but this rifle had saved his life countless times Will just couldn’t bring himself to hate it anymore than he could hate the war itself.

Driving a car that wasn’t military issue still felt strange but he had made it to the forest where they had told him they would meet. And there they were, all of them in their fancy clothes with weapons that looked like they had barely even been used, held in a manner that spoke of convenience and fun not of the need to survive.

Will felt out of place in his used military clothing and his rifle that was well taken care of but showed the sign of war. At the same time he felt more at home than he had since his return.

The looks they gave him made it clear just how strange they found his attire but Will knew not one of them would say a word. They might be rich prats but even they knew better than to insult someone that had served their country.

As he followed them into the forest it was far too easy to fall back into old routines, crouching down while walking, careful not to make a sound, always ready to shoot, never letting his guard down. His friends were much more relaxed, treating this as the hobby it was for them but Will couldn't turn of the reflexes that had ben drilled into him.

Somewhere in his mind he was back with his comrades, back where he belonged, advancing through a recently gained forest, weary of enemy forces that might ambush them.

They had walked for a good hour, stalking a deer if Will remembered correctly. He didn’t really care, all his senses were focused on protecting his friends from enemies that were thousands of miles away on a continent that no one their group but Will had ever set foot on. That didn’t diminish the sense that there was a danger, that there was the need to protect. Like this he felt better than he had done since he had come back, he finally had a purpose again.

There was a movement above them and without thinking Wesley raised his rifle. With routined movements he aimed and then shot three times in quick succession.

An inhuman scream pierced the air, making Will’s friends scatter and cower afraid. But Will ignored all of them in favor of following the figure that was falling down towards the ground. A loud thud echoed through the forest when whatever it was met the ground not far from them.

Will started running, determined to be there before his friends and eliminate the danger before it could hurt them. He was ready to be faced with the leathery wings of demons or the black swirl of feathers that were the wings of fallen angels, even some of the more hideous creatures he had seen shot through his mind as he raced through the forest.

He wasn’t prepared for what he found bleeding on the forest floor.

It wasn’t a monstrous creature that was trying to crawl away but a young man and his wings weren’t leathery or black, they were of the purest white that Will had ever seen. For a short, irrational moment he contemplated how beautiful the red blood looked staining the pure white of those feathers.

The sound of his friends crashing through the forest pulled him back from his trance and he looked more closely at the exotic creature. It wasn’t dead, though it was bleeding from the stomach, the left shoulder and his right wings. It's eyes were focused on Will, his face not giving away any fear.

The creature tried to sit up but Will raised his rifle once more until he was aiming at his head and the thing got the message, stilling and just _looking_ at him. Will was starting to feel uneasy, contemplating to shoot it just to be sure. It was far too calm, there was not fear in it’s eyes like it knew that it wasn’t going to die.

But the gasping of his friends as they stopped next to him stopped him from pulling the trigger and ending whatever it was that he had shot from the sky.

“Oh my God...” James whispered, looking at the body on the ground with wide eyes.

“Is that...”

“No it’s impossible.”

“But it is!”

They whispered around him, apparently not daring to speak louder. Though Will was curious his eyes never left the thing, he wasn’t going to give it a chance to kill one of his friends, even if he didn't like them very much

It was James who put an arm on his shoulder, nearly making him shoot the creature just from the shook of sudden contact. He glared, but still at the thing on the ground, not daring to look away for even a second.

“Will, I think you captured an angel.”

At that Will nearly turned around but he kept himself in check. Angels were rare and had hardly ever been seen since demons and humans had formed an alliance against them. It was said they had left the earth completely but every now and then one was seen or even caught.

Even Will who didn’t know what society appreciated or disdained after years spend in the trenches knew that owning an angel was a privilege not many could afford. Unless you managed to catch one yourself it cost more money than most people had to buy one. They were considered priced pets, symbols of either wealth or cunning, depending on how you got them.

It took Will a moment to realize that everyone was looking at him, waiting for him to decide. He had never wanted to catch an angel, he had only tried to neutralize a potential danger but here he was standing over a creature that wasn’t evil, wasn't out to kill them. He was at loss of what to do, the idea of owning someone, even if it was an angel, was foreign to him and he doubted that he could provide the care necessary. He barely managed to keep himself together on his good days.

“If you don’t want it, I’ll gladly take it off your hands.”

Will recognized the voice as one of James friends though he had never bothered with learning his name. James was a good man, unable to go into war because of his diabetes. He had expressed resentment over the fact that he couldn’t do his duty and Will believed him. None of his other 'friends' had ever seemed to regret the fact that others had to die for them. Will hated cowards.

For a moment he considered it, he didn’t want to deal with something - someone - on a daily basis and he had no idea what else to do with the angel. Something flickered in the eyes of the angel as he seemed to realize Will was considering giving him to the other man. His face didn’t betray a thing but his eyes held resentment and the barest hint of fear.

He had been about to say yes, just to get it out of his hands but he closed his mouth again. He had no quarrel killing if he needed to or even torture if the occasion called for it but there was nothing good that would come from this boy's suffering. The way the angel looked it seemed he would have preferred Will to shoot him dead instead of give him to that guy.

And when he thought about it Will could understand why it - he - would feel that way. Being at the complete mercy of someone was never a pleasant thought. When properly captured angels were given special collars, shackles and chains which banished their supernatural powers, made them weaker than most humans and rendered them unable to fly unless their master allowed it. But they still couldn’t die of age.

Will understood why being captured for all eternity by someone as ruthless as most of these noblemen and -women was a fate worse than death. Being at someone’s mercy without the slightest chance to ever truly fight back or escape... no, he remembered to well his own imprisonment to allow anyone else to suffer.

“Hands off, he’s mine.” he growled at the others, not caring that only one of them had asked, he knew that all of them would kill to get the angel in their hands.

The angel didn’t know it yet but Will was going to be a much kinder master than most of the others here would be. He would make sure that it wouldn’t suffer unnecessarily at least for his life time.

Will raised the handle of his rifle and let it fall down hard onto the angel’s head, sending him into unconsciousness Not once did he consider letting him go.


	2. the man with no name

Looking down at the angel on his bed Will didn’t know what to expect. Catching an angel had moved his social status a lot higher than just the money he had inherited had. Already he got invitations to parties and balls and he hadn’t even had his new possession for 48 hours.

James had helped him through the matter of registering and chaining his angel since Will had never paid much thought to such things. Now the boy was in clean clothes, his wounds - which were already nearly healed - carefully wrapped in bandages. A golden collar was around his throat and golden shackles around wrists and ankles, a small golden band around his waist from which chains moved from his hips to his wings were they were held by several rings on each side.

The man who had put the rings into the wings and put the collar and the shackles around his angel had told him that only those were really necessary to keep him from flying away or attacking him, the rest was more decoration than anything and he could take them off.

And though it was possible to open the shackles and the collar as well he had been told to not do it under any circumstances. The way they had described it angels sounded worse than demons and Will had realized that as much as angels were adored and viewed as ethereal pets they were also feared by the general population.

Somehow having a being this dangerous by his side just soothed Will. He didn’t want to die, not ultimately but if he ever decided that the world was better off without him he now had someone who was probably gladly gonna oblige him in his wish and give him one last, glorious fight.

But for now his angel was still sedated and Will didn’t know if he was a fighter or simply a beautiful face. He had put the angel in his bed and sat on the chair next to it, not leaving him alone in his vulnerable state. As soon as the angel was awake and well he would get his own room with as much liberty as Will dared to give him.

The collar stopped the angel from doing anything that he had been forbidden to do. Well, it didn’t stop him per se it just send wave and wave of incredible pain through his body until he didn’t want to do anything anymore. Will wasn’t too fond on this kind of things, torture was something he had come to despise though he did it without a second thought when it was necessary.

Already his bad conscience was nagging at Will, reminding him that he was holding a prisoner against his will, not much different from the demons that had captured him. Maybe he was even worse since there wasn’t the necessity of war legitimating his decision, there was only the norm of a society he didn’t feel part of. There was no information Will needed from the angel, no reason for his captivity, not even the possible threat he was posing.

Still Will didn’t once consider giving freedom to his angel.

Will was startled from his thoughts when there was movement on his bed, he focused once more and saw the wings slightly shifting as the angel slowly started to come around. Will didn’t really know how to explain himself or how much the angel actually understood.

The woman that had fitted the collar had told him that angels were considered very intelligent but since they had become so rare it was hard to judge the abilities of those that were coming down to earth. That hadn’t sounded very reassuring but it seemed there was no other way than find out what his angel was like for himself.

He had heard that angels could be extremely violent even with the collar that prevented them from doing any real harm to their owner. But he found himself surprisingly unafraid of the skinny man with wings that was lying in his bed. Though he had had a way of looking that had made goosebumps appear on Will’s skin when he first looked at him Will didn’t think he would pose any real threat.

Suddenly the angel’s eyes flew open and Will’s hand reflexively went to the gun that never left his side. Immediately the angel’s eyes focused on him and only now Will noticed that they were of an ethereal gold that made him look even more unreal and beautiful.

Slowly the angel moved to sit, his eyes never leaving Will, likely remembering his reaction in the forest. But this time Will allowed him to rise though he stayed focused on his every movement, ready to act if the angel posed a threat. He had no qualms to shoot him if he must unarmed prisoner or not.

“What is your name.” he asked when the angel was sitting, his legs crossed and his posture oddly relaxed.

The angel just tilted his head with the smallest hint of a smile and raised his wings in what looked suspiciously like a shrug. He was chained, robbed of his powers and at the mercy of a stranger but still he was more at ease than Will in his own home.

“I’m Will.” he offered, hoping to relax the angel a bit and get him to talk back to him.

But he simply nodded, not making a move to answer with his own name, instead just looked at Will like he should know all the answers already.

“You don’t have to be afraid, I’m not going to hurt you. It’s okay if you don’t want to give me your name but what should I call you.”

The angel didn’t look the slightest bit afraid anyway but maybe that was just show. He wouldn’t be the first prisoner to act unafraid in front of his captors while inwardly he was shaking with fear. And even with his offer he refused to say anything. Will didn’t know if it was because he still believed Will to mean harm to him or if there was some other reason that he stubbornly refused to speak.

“Do you understand me?”

Will felt stupid when the angel looked at him like he was not quite right in the head, angels had dealt with humans for thousands of years and though they had their own language it was largely accepted that they had given the human theirs. Asking an angel if he couldn’t understand the human language was probably considered an insult.

“So do you just don’t want to speak or can’t you?”

This time the angel tilted his head in the other direction and just looked at him, golden eyes intense and burning, leaving Will feeling like he had on his first day in front of his drill sergeant.

“I take it you don’t want to.” he murmured, still uneasy but never allowing his gaze to leave the angel.

The angel raised his wings and they brushed against the ceiling even though the golden chains kept them from being fully extended. The chains clinked against each other and gleamed in the light of the lamp. A dark expression crossed the angel’s face when he turned and looked at the chains that were holding him back.

If Will hadn’t been watching him so carefully he wouldn’t have noticed because a moment later the anger was already replaced with the serene looked that seemed more and more like a mask to hide the angels true feelings.

Without much thought Will reached out for the wing closest to him, he didn’t need the chains along the wings and they made the angel look far too much like a pet or a whore. Instinctively the angel pulled his wings back and closer to his body. By the small sound of pain that escaped him the collar had punished him for denying his owner to touch him.

“Hey relax.” he told him soothingly.

This was something he was familiar with, he had calmed down countless nervous young men before their first battle and had helped more than one man overcome the nightmares of his tortures. Calming down a spooked angel that probably thought he would be subjected to something similarly horrible wasn’t that different.

“I’m just gonna take the chains of your wings and from around your waist if you let me. I promise you I won’t harm you.”

There was distrust in the angel’s eyes but he slowly extended one wing towards Will until he could reach the tip where the chain was fastened. Slowly he started to take the chain from the rings. He was as gentle as possible since he didn’t know how much the rings alone hurt. They were on the upper part of his wings, around the bones and leaving just enough space to attach the chain.

Sure, angels healed a lot faster than humans did but still it had to hurt. The chain reacted to his touch, the clasps opened easily under his hands like they would for no one but him until he was dead. Will had no idea how they had done it and frankly he didn’t really care as long as they worked how they were supposed to.

Gently he removed all six chains and then the mockery of a belt that was fastened around his angel’s hip.

“Better?” he asked softly and as if to test it the angel raised his wings high over his head The six of them filling the room with gleaming white feathers as he stretched them to the ceiling and the walls as far as they would go.

That was as good an answer as he was probably going to get and Will was satisfied with it. Somehow the angel looked happier even though he still had the same serene look on his face, not once giving away how he thought.

Gracefully the angel rose from the bed, walking past Will and for one unreal moment Will was worried that he would simply open the windows and fly away. But the collar kept him here, bound to Will and instead of escaping he came to a stop next to the small table. Will couldn’t see what he was doing, his actions were hidden by the wings that were still proudly displayed.

He heard a pen rasping over paper and when the angel turned around he held a small note in his hand. He walked back towards the bed and handed it to Will who took it warily, not sure what to make of it. On the note was just one word, written in elegant script.

_Wesley_

“I take it this is what you want me to call you and not your real name?” Will offered holding the note firmly in his hand.

Wesley just looked at him once more, the smallest hint of a smile on his face as the tip of his right wing extended to stroke over Will’s cheek. The gesture shocked him and automatically Will shied back. But that just made the smile intensify and Will found he didn’t even mind it. Even the bare hint of a smile was better than the serene mask that was protecting Wesley’s face otherwise.

“Wesley it is.”


	3. are you alive?

Life with Wesley turned out to be... different. The angel never asked for anything, not even for food or water though the government officials that had handed Will the books about the proper domestication of angels had assured him that the collar made sure that angels needed to eat and to drink to enforce the dependence between owner and angel.

Will had found all that talk about angels a bit creepy, most people would even treat their dogs better than the officials advised to treat angels.

Suddenly Will found himself in charge of another being. He might not be sure how intelligent Wesley truly was but that didn’t matter. He was no demon, he hadn’t done anything wrong, he wouldn’t suffer from Will’s hand unlike so many others, some of them probably innocent as well.

Being distracted from his own desperation was an odd comfort. He still didn’t feel any better but if the past was slowly eating him alive at least the pain wasn’t always present anymore. It forced him to concentrate, something he hadn’t been able to do since he had come home.

He had spent years only focusing on surviving the next hours, sometimes only the next minutes, focusing on mundane tasks like cleaning or reading seemed to be his undoing. Focusing on anything at all without the thrill was close to impossible. He managed to concentrate on driving and riding because he knew it could cost him his life and even though the danger wasn’t imminent it was still there, a low thrum in his blood, the only thing that kept him focused.

On the hunt he had felt alive. It had been exhilarating and Will had felt like he had awoken from a deep sleep, everything else had been just a bad dream but there and then had been right once more.

But all the mundane, every day tasks left him unsatisfied and on edge, never finishing one thing but jumping from one to the other. None of his old hobbies brought him any joy, only when he pushed his body to the limits could he feel something that seemed close to peace but he never quite got there.

He trained every day that he wasn’t sinking into frustration and depression. But more and more he had found himself just wasting the days not even able to bother himself with the only things that kept him calm. At first he had blamed it on the injuries still bothering him but by now he was well aware that it was simply his own weakness that kept him at home when even getting out of his chair seemed like a trial.

Several shots in legs and torso had kept him in the infirmary during the end of the war and he had been unable to fight with his brothers during the last brutal month of the conflict. When the peace treaty had been signed they had sent him home, they had no need for cripples any longer. With the war over they weren’t desperate anymore.

Even after month spent healing Will had still felt closer to death than live when they had flown him to a military hospital back home. They had released him there shortly after, he wasn’t in danger anymore and they had more urgent cases. Wave on wave of wounded flooded the hospitals and they had thrown everyone out who hadn't needed urgent medical attention.

Home was a foreign house in a foreign city surrounded by people he didn’t know. Nightmares kept him awake at night and during the day he felt like he was in a different kind of nightmare. He never remembered about what he dreamed but it didn’t matter, screams were screams after all and it didn’t change a thing if it was the first comrade who had died next to him or the last, in the end they were all the same.

Having Wesley around changed things. The angel was so calm and serene it forced back some of the frantic energy that was thrumming inside of Will’s body that was of course when it wasn’t creeping him out. Wesley was just always there. No matter where Will went Wesley was never more than a room away.

Normally he would have felt cornered, like with all the people that had tried to stay with him in his house because he was too alone and it wasn’t good for him. But Wesley never tried to talk to him - in fact he never spoke not even when Will worked through the fog that covered his mind on good days or the pain that made him go crazy on bad to make an effort and ask him something. Wesley was just _there_ , the ever present person on the other end of the room or on the other side of the door.

Will tried not to think too much about what it said about him that he preferred the presence of a silent, angelic creeper to those of his so-called friends. Or maybe even his real friends, he didn’t know the difference anymore. To him all of them were people that tried to interfere with a live that was hard enough as it was. It would be a lot easier if they’d just leave him alone.

He knew that he was wallowing in his misery, not even making any real attempts to get his life back together but so what? If they’d just leave him alone he could simply _stop_. Stop everything and just disappear.

Dying wasn’t something he wanted to do but living seemed to be too much effort, so instead of doing either he just drifted and faded.

But now Wesley was here and fading suddenly wasn’t an option anymore. Not if it meant it would hurt another being, he had hurt too many people in such a short time, he couldn’t bear to add the innocent angel to his list.


	4. pet

Will had no idea why the hell he had even bothered to go to the party one of his hunting friends had invited him too. After the sixth phone call and what felt like the hundredth time that he had to hear how it would do him good and that he needed to get out of his house Will had found himself agreeing.

Now he was standing here with Wesley on a leash - the angel had looked so anxious when Will had told him he was leaving and anyway, Daniel had told him to bring him along to prove that he really caught himself an angel and wasn’t just faking it to get out of going out with them.

Wesley was standing tall and expressionless like always though Will noticed how close he was standing to him and that his wings were folded tight against his back. Still standing in the door Will contemplated turning around and simply leaving but before he could follow that impulse Daniel was standing next to him, looping his arm around Will's shoulder

“Will, buddy, great of you to come. How have you been?”

Tensing under the casual gesture Will turned to look at his friend who was paying more attention to Wesley than he was to Will.

For a moment he considered telling the truth, that he was barely able to hold himself together even on the good days but the crazy idea disappeared after a blink and was replaced with what he always said because lying was better for everyone.

“I’ve been good Daniel, how are you?”

“Very well now you and your beautiful pet are here.”

Daniel couldn’t keep the leer out of his voice and Will found it increasingly hard to tolerate the arm around his shoulder.

He had already guessed that it had been Wesley and not him that they wanted to have at the party but his fogged brain hadn’t been able to pay much attention to that fact, much less too what that would mean for Wesley. He wanted to protest that Wesley wasn’t his pet but he knew better than that, now he was just considered an oddity something you invited to your parties to show that you supported the war heroes, even the crazy ones, but that could change and though Will didn’t care much for them he knew that in this world everything stood and fell with connections.

Daniel stirred him into the middle of the room and with him Wesley. Will was acutely aware of all the stares that followed them across the room. They, or rather Wesley were the attentions of the evening. Most of the people here probably hadn’t ever been that close to an angel and Will was sure that more than one of them would like to kill him to get their hands on Wesley.

“I put up a lovely little thing for your angel so that everyone can admire it.”

Will eyed the platform that Daniel was pointing to with disgust. It was littered with pillows and there were rings that were obviously meant to hold the various chains that were attached to Wesley’s body. It looked like it came straight from some oriental harem.

“I prefer to have him close.” he responded coldly, finally shrugging off his arm.

He pulled Wesley closer instead and put an arm around him showing everyone that Wesley was his and not a thing that they could touch and ogle as they pleased. Even though the gesture was meant to protect Wesley from any overenthusiastic guests he felt bad immediately, he wasn’t treating him any better than most of those assholes.

“Don’t be a spoilsport Will, if it wasn’t for the hunting trip we dragged you on you wouldn’t even own this precious thing. The least you can do is share it with us.”

Normally Will was a very patient guy but what his so called 'friend' was implying he should do with Wesley made him ready to throw a fit and maybe throw Daniel out of the window. He doubted the other man would be truly missed, after the public scandal would be over everyone would forget him fast enough.

"You know me, I'm not much the type for sharing," he replied tersely, fighting hard not to let his anger show.

It wasn't a good idea to be known as sympathizing with anything that wasn't human. Though they weren't at war with the angels supporting an angel's right not to be raped by a group of horny rich men would only be a short leap away from secretly rallying for demon at least if the press needed a story

In these tense times, even with the war being momentarily suspended, everyone was on edge and seeing head's roll seemed to be the only way to calm people down. If they kept killing traitors and collaborators there was no way they were going to loose if the war flared up again. At least that was the logic the public seemed to be oozing at the moment.

"Aw c'mon let the lot of us have some fun. It's not every day you get to touch a real angel and you have him all to your self the whole rest of the time. After all we helped you catch him so it's only fair if we get a piece of him too."

Will pulled Wesley even closer, feeling the young man burrow against his chest. And only now did he realize that the angel was trembling slightly. It seemed that the he wasn't as strong and aloof as he liked to pretend.

Turning his eyes away from Daniel for a second Will looked down to where Wesley was hiding his face against his chest. He raised a hand to gently smooth it through on of Wesley's wing, smiling satisfied when there was a soft mewling sound.

He hoped it was a real sound and not just something Wesley had made to make sure he wouldn't loan him out. As if he needed any further persuasion to safe Wesley from that.

Though true, Wesley didn't know that. He only knew him as the man who had captured him and had put him in chains. He might not have treated him badly yet but for all Wesley knew this might just start to change now.

"I really don't feel inclined to share. And as you may remember that it's me who registered him. He is officially mine and only mine. You don't have co-ownership."

A sudden wave of anger clouded Daniel's face and Will realized that if he rebuffed the young noble so completely and publicly he would make a powerful enemy with a lot of free time on his hands. Will might be a decorated war hero with a relative wealth and an angel but Daniel had a lot more money. Money that could ensure him that someone would get rid of Will and might even secure him ownership over Wesley.

Even if it didn't Wesley would still be in worse hands than he was with him and Will was not going to allow that.

"But since I honor your help I would gladly put him up on the pedestal as long as people keep their hands to themselves and don't touch my pet. I hope you understand that I'm rather possessive of him, after all angels are a rare sight and I don't want him damaged in any way."

This seemed to appease Daniel since his usual smile was back. Will really didn't find that reassuring at all.

"Of course. Of course. But surely you will at least allow me to touch a little bit?"

He felt Wesley press closer against him and he would have loved nothing more than to truly protect his angel and make sure that no one ever touched him again he nodded.

This would keep both of them safe in the long haul. There was no use protecting the angel if he was just going to loose him later on.

"Of course Daniel," he replied with a fake smile.

Will felt Wesley stiffen against him and when he looked down he could see fear shine in the angels eyes. In this moment he wished nothing more to be able to make this fear go away.

But there was more to consider here than just the feelings of his angel or even his own. This was about survival and about making sure they would be safe later. It was far too easy to shut away all his emotions behind a wall of cold, clear logic.

He would hate himself later for this, he knew that. Hate himself for coming here in the first place and for not saving Wesley from being treated like a mere thing. But Will also knew that he would never stop loathing himself until the day he died, so what was one more thing on the list?

Will squeezed Wesley's shoulder reassuringly, willing the angel to be as strong as he had seemed as first. They were going to get through this and Will wouldn't end up in a ditch and Wes in some illegal market.

Sometimes Will mused about how ironic it was, that he would do anything to stay alive when he wasn't even sure he wanted to live.

Today wasn't one of those days.


	5. your heaven's a lie

This wasn't the first time Will woke up screaming and it wasn't going to be the last. Though what was new was what he had dreamed about. It hadn't been the usual litany of demons and corpses, torture and fighting. Instead he had dreamed of Wesley and Daniel.

He had dreamed that Daniel had broken their agreement and had raped Wesley, right there in front of him and Will had been held back by an ocean of people, unable to get to his angel's rescue.

Will barely made it to the toilet before he had thrown up all that he had eaten the day before. Not that it had been much. He had barely been able to work up an appetite ever since they had gotten back from the party.

To his surprise it only took a few minutes before Wesley came to a standstill next to him, sitting down on the cold floor of the bathroom and putting one of his wings around Will's shoulder.

At first Will was too shocked to say anything but once the fact had sunken in Will felt another wave of nausea hit him and he pushed himself forward, shoving his face over the toilet bowl. Wesley was trying to comfort _him_.

The sweet, innocent angel that Will had betrayed and had forced to allow a touch he clearly hadn't wanted from a horrible man. Will had only stopped him when he had tried to sneak a hand into Wesley's trousers, bile already high in his throat at that point.

Daniel's amused comment about how good a fuck Wesley had to be if Will was this jealous of anyone touching him had made it even harder to keep himself together.

It had been horrifying for him but he hadn't been the one who had been forced to let someone touch him. No, he had been the sick fuck who had let it happen.

It was hard to accept Wesley's kindness when the pictures of Daniel's hands all over Wesley were still so fresh in his mind.

When he had finished once more throwing up into the toilet Wesley gently pulled him back, bringing him to rest against his chest. His wings were soft and warm as they cocooned around Will and not even the metal rings that made soft clinging sounds could stop this from being comforting.

Until now Wes still hadn't spoken but occasionally he made small noises. He did so now, for the first time directing his communication at Will by cooing softly into his ear, the sounds low and comforting.

Will couldn't stop himself from curling into Wesley, burying his nose in the other man's shirt while he closed his eyes and tried to will the memories away. If only he could forget. He couldn't even return to his usual method of trying to kill his memories: Alcohol.

He knew he tended to get violent when he was drunk, destroying furniture and the likes. Which was the reason he only ever got drunk in the basement but he didn't trust himself not to do something to Wesley if he stumbled upon him while being completely wasted.

The alcohol was supposed to make him forget but sometimes it just made the monsters that much stronger and he just couldn't risk that.

A soft washcloth was pressed against his forehead and for a split second Will tensed but he relaxed nearly as fast when he reminded himself that this was Wesley.

But that realization made a whole other emotion flare up in him. Hot, burning rage. He had captured Wesley, hurt him and allowed other people to humiliate and touch him. Why the hell was Wes trying to take care of him.

By all rights he should hate him. Wes should try and kill him. Will knew that angels were savage fighters and he didn't think that Wesley was unable to hurt him for even a second. But that still didn't change the fact that Wesley had never shown anything but kindness and concern towards Will.

He was all soft smiles and concerned looks, disconnected mask and blank emptiness. Even after he had chained him to a podium to be ogled by countless strangers there hadn't even been a hint of anger in Wesley's eyes. Despite the fact that he had been afraid, that he hadn't wanted that. Despite the fact that Will had failed to protect him.

Will pushed Wesley away with a snarl. Why wasn't he angry? Why didn't he hate him? How could he be so serene after what had happened to him. He had to know that there would never be freedom for him, that he would be sold over and over again and that even the relative safety of Will was something that would protect him only until Will's death.

Will couldn't fathom how someone could be so without hate. He couldn't go a day without the burning rage flaring up in him and this angel, who looked like he was barely more than a boy, just came along and could let go, could live in peace.

In this moment Will hated Wesley for it and he didn't feel any shame.

He pushed the angel away, not caring if he or Wesley got hurt in the process. Later he would be thankful that he hadn't tried to raise a hand against Wesley, not even with his rage eating away at him.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

He had jumped to his feet, the nausea of the nightmare replaced with a pointless rage that made him want to hurt and maim and kill. There was only a small voice in the back of his voice yelling at him not to, that Wesley didn't deserve this. He didn't listen.

"What kind of freak are you that you're trying to take care of me? You should hate me. You're my god damn fucking slave and I can't even protect you from my own friends."

Wesley looked up at him blankly from the floor, his wings were once more pulled tight against his body. The glittering gold of the rings just made Will's anger rise. So did the open trust in those eyes and the worried frown that marred the other ways perfect face.

"I did nothing but hurt you and you still, still try to help me. You're a freak. That's what you are. I'm sure you think you're above demons but you aren't. At least demons have a fucking sense of self-preservation and they aren't as fucking stupid and helpless as you."

Still Wesley made no move to react. He didn't stand or change his position, hell even his look stayed the same. If you saw it out of context you could believe they were having a discussion instead of Will yelling and threatening and Wesley doing nothing but listen.

"You don't even try to take advantage, why are you so fucking docile? Show some spirit you little shit. C'mon you can't be completely vacant can you? But then why the hell are you behaving like you actually owe me anything."

Will started to pace. He wanted to throw something but he managed to stop himself, some part of him not ready to actually hurt the angel that he was supposed to care for. Later he would be thankful for his conscience stopping him but in that moment it only fueled his anger more.

He kicked the waste basket, desperately hoping that Wesley was going to flinch at the sound or the violent outburst but nothing happened. He just kept sitting there, motionless like a statue. His eyes glued to Will and nothing but honest concern in them.

Will hated him.

"I'd take a demon over you every day. At least they have some guts and some spirit. You, you on the other hand. I could lead you to the slaughter house and you would just follow like a good little lamb, wouldn't you?"

The more Wesley kept silent the more agitated Will became. He needed some kind of target, somewhere to direct his rage at but there was nothing to gain from yelling at an unmoving target, especially if he couldn't even throw anything at him.

Will wanted a fight, a real one, even if it was only with words and not with fists like he truly desired. He would take anything he could get to take off the edge of anxiety that had been building inside of him over the last few days.

Every now and then he needed a release, a violent explosion of all the anger and hate piled up inside of him. He could only repress it for so long until it blew up in his face and everything came rushing back to the surface.

The fact that he couldn't control his own emotions always ended up being the first drop that started the circle of self loathing again. He had tried to change, he still did. But he had never managed to. He just couldn't let go of the anger.

And maybe the reason that he was so incredibly angry at Wesley was jealousy.

Will stopped in his tirade as Wesley pulled something out of a pocket. It was one of the little notebook he carried around for communication. In the small time that it took Wesley to write his note Will felt relief, sure that the angel would finally tell him what he thought about him. But what he read when Wesley held his book out towards him was something completely different.

_'It's okay to be angry.'_

Will reeled back as if someone had hit him. He had been ready to launch into another tirade, telling Wesley exactly how useless he was but he was stopped short now, unable to say anything. Fuck. It was like his whole being had been stopped short and had no clue what to do so it just stayed there, frozen in place.

And then suddenly a sob wrenched from his throat, leaving him surprised and unsure. Another one followed, even though he tried hard to stop his emotions from pouring out. But now that the dam had broken it seemed they didn't feel like being stopped again. Will hadn't bothered to allow himself to cry for a long time.

It wasn't something you could do as an officer, people relied on you to be strong and if you were already a crying mess you couldn't expect the enlisted men to feel very excited about the prospect of going to war.

Warm arms wrapped around his shoulders and this time he didn't push Wesley away. Instead he allowed his angel to pull him close and envelop him ins his wings, shielding his tears from the world.


	6. a perfect prison

Life for them had started to settle. There were no more visits to parties and no more late night yelling. Wesley preferred to spend his days reading the extensive library that Will owned but had never touched.

Will found himself working out more, finding enjoyment in the exhaustion once more. Sometimes, when it was about endurance or agility Wesley would join him. Even during that time Wesley kept to his silence which made Will feel a bit uneasy at first.

Will himself was rather vocal about what he thought about the sport. He didn't hesitate to yell out of joy or anger, he really enjoyed cursing things when they didn't work out. Especially this seemed to amuse Wesley to no end, which in turn meant that Will ended up cursing a lot more than he normally would.

The more time passed the more Wesley seemed like a simple friend and housemate instead of a slave. Will had never been especially fond of owning anyone, human or angel and he didn't plan to ever enforce the role they were supposed to play.

Sometimes he had to, like when the authorities came checking to see if he could keep his angel in line but other than that he much preferred Wesley active and lively instead of subdued and submissive.

It brought a light and energy into the house that hadn't filled it in a long, long time.

Despite his sometimes somber expression Wesley enjoyed to run around the house and sometimes liked to behave a bit like an oversized puppy. But Will was never allowed to see this side of Wesley, he only managed to catch quick glimpses before Wesley put his mask back into place.

The only time he let his shields down around Will was during their workout and when they were enjoying a slow evening together on the couch in front of the fireplace. Wesley never managed to keep the emotions that books filled him with from his face and Will loved to watch him, though most of the time he would at least pretend to do something else.

As time progressed they would end up together on the couch, pressed together, more evenings than they spend alone. Wesley would rest his head on Will's shoulder while reading or stretch out on the couch and put his feet onto Will's lap.

But what Will liked most of all was when they were stretched out on the couch next to each other, simply watching the fire while Wesley's wings were draped over Will, acting as the world's most comfortable blanket.

If you had told Will a while ago that he would be able to find enjoyment in watching the fire once more he would have told you that you were an idiot. He had given up on ever being happy again, basically resigned to some day dying old and alone, without anyone there to mourn him because he had wasted his life away being angry and hiding from the world. But it seemed that at least for now he could be happy

He liked watching Wesley fly high above the roof of the house. The charms that made Will Wesley's master prevented the angel from flying too far away but if Will allowed it Wesley was able to fly at least in a certain radius.

It was plain as day how much flying meant to Wesley and how much it ate at him that he wasn't able to just soar higher and higher until one day maybe he could touch the sun. Will tried his best to allow Wesley to fly as often as he could but he felt as if it was never enough. Wesley deserved so much more than the few square miles that Will could offer him.

But Wesley seemed to be happy with what he had. Every time he came back into the house from another round of stretching his wings he would give Will a long, hard hug and his wings would caress Will's back until both of them were utterly relaxed.

Sometimes Will wished he didn't need to be so careful about what the public thought about him because he really just wanted to spoil Wesley. Take him to get all the books he could ever want. And maybe some different shackles. The ones that were used on angels used in the military, they allowed them to go as far from their master as their orders required it.

But he didn't have any connections to speak of, not after all these years of ignoring most of his social obligations that didn't include the military. Not that he couldn't rely on his comrades but most of them were dead by now. And giving a angel more freedom than strictly necessary would probably get him hanged as a traitor if someone decided they wanted his angel. And his friends in the military wouldn't be able to do a single thing to help him.

The angelic agency was very good when it came to ignoring false claims but it was also very radical in who was a suitable owner and who wasn't. And if he did all the things for Wes that he wanted to do he sure as hell wouldn't be considered suitable.

Tonight was one of those nights again, they were curled up on the couch, Wesley sprawled out all over Will's stomach. His wings were spread out over them and all over the floor. Will was gently stroking through them, rubbing the spots that made Wesley happy. His angel was humming softly and rubbing his cheek across Will's chest.

Will smiled softly and continued to card through the feathers of Wesley's wings, reminding himself that it was time to groom them again soon. He always offered his help because he liked touching those magnificent wings but normally Wesley wouldn't allow him to.

It had been hard after the party, Will hadn't dared to touch Wesley's wings and the angel hadn't seemed very inclined to allow it either.

What had developed between them now was more of a reluctant routine. There were certain times when Wesley would simply simply demand to be petted while other days Will wasn't allowed anywhere near them.

Will never objected because he loved the feelings of Wesley's wings and he would take every chance to touch them as often as he could. He didn't mind that he should've been the one making the calls and not Wesley, he sure as hell wouldn't risk upsetting Wesley and risk being denied the right to touch his wings.

Whatever Wesley was comfortable with he was happy to give.

It was strange to feel so content but he sure as hell wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. He liked it this way. Sure he was still angry but not even remotely as much as he had been before. Somehow just the presence of Wesley calmed him. He liked the way he could just let go around the other being.

Sometimes Will caught Wesley looking at him with sadness in his eyes. At first he had thought that Wes was unhappy about his fate but the longer he kept watching Wes the more he was sure that Wesley was actually sad _for Will_.

He couldn't understand how someone could feel any compassion for the person that had enslaved them. Not that Will wasn't glad, he had no clue if he could've lived happy if Wes had hated him as much as he should've when you looked at all the things Will had done.

But then, Wesley was an angel. They weren't simply stronger humans with wings. There was something fundamentally different about them. Will had seen it in Wes a few times, mostly when he was about to fly of into the sky, sometimes when he was watching Will.

When Wes was about to fly he looked like the thing he was, a very, very old being that could have torn all of them apart if it only had been free. He looked so different in those moments, ethereal. And more often than not Will had found himself fighting the urge to stop Wesley from flying away, pushed by the crazy notion that Wes would fly of and never come back.

He couldn't fathom how he could have ever caught something as incredible as his angel. By right Wesley should have escaped and Will's intestines should be rotting in that clearing. Wesley was so much more than Will could ever hope to understand. He should have never been caught by anyone, much less him.

But here they were and Will had no intention of letting Wesley go. He knew he could have taken the chains off of him and allowed him to fly away but he could not bring himself to do it.

He told himself it was because people would get suspicious if they didn't see his angel and it would end Will in jail or maybe even worse. But fact was that people rarely saw him outside and he never took Wesley with him anymore when he had to be sociable.

It wasn't that unusual for people to lock their angels away because they didn't want to share them with anyone. Will would have hardly been the first one to do it and questions were never asked.

But he couldn't. In his mind Wesley always ended up being caught by someone else and he just couldn't deal with the thought that his angel might end up belonging to another person. It was a strange mix of protectiveness and possessiveness. He was never quite sure if he felt comfortable with the way he was acting so he decided not to give it too much thought.

Live was good for them the way it was, there was no need to fuck it all up by thinking about it too much.


	7. rage and serenity

There were still some nights that Will woke up screaming his lungs out but ever since he and Wesley had grown closer these nights had gotten fewer. Every time he woke up now Wesley would be there, sitting next to him and humming softly under his breath.

At first Will had refused the presence of the angel, had gotten up and run to the toilet to throw up and when nothing would come out anymore he would still sit there, dry heaving until he could feel his stomach muscles cramp up.

But Wesley had been relentless, following him into the bathroom and blanketing him with his wings when Will was too exhausted to do much more than cling to the toilet.

Wesley offered the solid comfort that Wesley had never allowed himself to have. It felt strange to be consoled by someone after such a long time of ignoring his emotions and banning them to the back of his mind.

Sometimes he still felt guilty about it. He had done all those horrible things and still he was the one asking for comfort. He shouldn't feel better not after all of the things he had done and all the young men and women he had send to their death.

Wesley didn't seem to agree with him though, no matter how often Will yelled at him afterwards, demanding to be left alone to suffer in peace. If he didn't know better Will would have thought Wesley didn't understand him.

And maybe he really didn't, despite his intelligence and affinity for books. They were different species, who knew what kind of moral codes angel had, maybe in Wesley's eyes Will was behaving like an utter moron.

Still, things were better now that Wesley was here with him. While Will was sure he deserved all the nightmares he got he couldn't help but be grateful when he woke up in the morning and realized they hadn't come. At heart he was a selfish creature it seemed.

And just because the nightmares had left him in relative peace it didn't mean the rest of his memories were so nice. It still took nothing more than a hint of a certain smell or a stray sound to make them come to the front of Will's mind with full force. They were nasty memories, at least most of the time. But even the ones that didn't involve blood and gore weren't things Will cared to remember.

And just like with the nightmares Wesley was always there when he was hit by a flashback came back. More often than not Will would come back to himself and find that he was safely wrapped up in his angels wings.

Wesley always offered unwavering support. And despite the fact that sometimes in the middle of it Will hated him for being so kind he was thankful for it once he was in his right mind again. It was nice to know that he wasn't going to do anything stupid because there was someone there who would catch him.

Sometimes, after a particular bad nightmare or memory Will would talk to Wesley, tell him about all the people he lost and the ones he had send to their death.

Wesley always listened patiently, though Will still wasn't sure just how much of it made any sense to him. Either way, Will always felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders once he was done.

Sometimes feeling better made him feel even worse for some sick reason. Will had long ago given up on trying to understand his emotions. They always escaped his grasp.

But nightmares and memories and phantom pains weren't controlling his life anymore, not since Wesley had shown up in it. Will loved the moments they got to spend together outside, when Wesley would use his wings to cheat Will out of winning a race between the two of them.

It was weird, the peace that Wesley brought to him while often it seemed to him that his anger had grown stronger in his chest.

He didn't question it, at least not anymore. Will had learned to take what he could get and what Wesley was bringing to his life was certainly more than he had ever hoped for, probably more than he deserved.


	8. song of captivity and freedom

It was late at night when Will woke up. At first he wasn't quite sure what woke him and he felt disoriented. Normally the only thing that could wake him up where his nightmares and he hadn't had one of those in over three month.

It had been nearly two years since Wesley had become his and life had just gotten better for him. That still didn't mean he got out more, in fact he was even more reclusive than before, not caring for much company. Mostly they were just interested in Wesley anyway and he had no intentions of sharing his angel.

Time had flown by like nothing and while he felt more than comfortable in their routines and Wesley felt like he had been part of Will's life forever.

After a minute of his thoughts being in complete disarray Will realized that Wesley wasn't there. Ever since Will had started to accept Wesley's help when one of his nightmares Wesley had started to insert himself further into Will's nightly routine until he had one day just come to bed with Will.

Despite what his friends and society in general thought angels to be good for Will had not once touched Wesley in any way even remotely sexual. It was simply nice to have a warm body next to him at night, something to cling to when the monsters wouldn't leave him be.

Normally Wesley woke later than Will and a look at his clock told him it was only 4AM anyway so where the hell was his angel?

Will groaned when he got out of bed. It was a cold winter morning and the various injuries he had managed to get during the wars didn't appreciate the lack of heating all that much, aching in a lot of different, annoying ways.

He slipped into his shoes and grabbed a thick nightgown that was going to keep him warm while he searched the house for his angel. He really hoped that Wesley hadn't done what he had waited for at first. But Wesley had never shown any inclination of wanting to escape and by now Will had completely forgotten that that was even a possibility.

Life was good for both of them, wasn't it?

When he stepped into the hall he heard what had probably been the reason for his awakening. There was a soft voice carrying down the hallway and he strained to hear more of it, moving slowly and silently as not to alarm whoever was out there singing.

Following the voice he stepped through the doors into the upstairs living room and into the what had become Wesley's personal room. There was a balcony attached to it and Wesley loved to sit on it for hours and just gaze at the sky.

And tonight he was doing the same his eyes fixed at the full moon that was illuminating the sky and canceling out most of the stars.

He looked so divine in this moment that with a brutal clarity Will remembered that this wasn't just his Wesley, this was an angel. A beautiful angel something from another place of existence and he had dragged it down here into the dust where eventually his beauty, his purity would be destroyed.

The thought made Will's gut clench painfully.

Wesley didn't seem to have noticed Will standing in the door of the balcony. He was still facing the sky, his wings spread out behind him, as if he was ready to shoot out into the night.

Only now did Will focus on the singing, realizing that it was coming from Wesley. His Wesley who had never said a word to him before.

The first thing that hit him was that Wesley had a beautiful voice. He didn't know why but for some reason he would have imagined Wesley's voice to be deeper when in reality it was high and clear, carrying through the dark.

Will took another step out onto the balcony, only to stop short when Wesley started to sing louder, emotions thick in his voice. Whatever he was singing it was laced with sorrow and pain and an intense longing that made Will want to draw Wesley into his arms and protect him from the world, give him everything he could ever possibly desire.

He wondered what the angel was singing about, what could possibly cause these emotions.

Slowly Wesley turned around towards him, never stopping his song. His eyes fixed on Will with an intensity that scared Will. The white wings of his angel wrapped themselves around Wesley, as if he was trying to protect himself from the pain he was expressing.

Will wished he could look away, go back and hide in the safety of the dark room. Anything not to have such intense emotions focused on him. But this was not something he could do, not now that Wesley had seen him.

The angel's hands came into view and for the first time Will saw him visibly struggling with his slavery. He tugged on the rings in his wings with a sudden abandonment all the while he kept singing, not once missing a note.

As the tugging grew more insistent Will felt worry rise in him. It looked like Wesley wouldn't stop even if it started to hurt and by trying to rip the rings out of his wings he would do himself serious damage. Will couldn't allow that.

Slowly, as not to spook Wesley, he stepped forward until he was right in front of him. He grasped his hands with gentle care. Will didn't want Wesley to be afraid of him or feel forced but he needed him to stop before he would injure himself.

The touch on his hands made Wesley stop, he pulled back but before Will could do the same Wesley grasped his hands, pressing them against his wings.

Hesitantly Will looked up from where his hands were held steady within the angel's grasp. Once more he was caught up in Wesley's intense gaze, the brown eyes not allowing him to look away.

Wesley's voice had grown softer again as he sung to Will, the pain and longing not only visible in his voice but also in his eyes. Will found he could escape neither.

He wanted to look away but the emotions that Wesley let flow so freely had captivated him. His angel was normally so tight lipped and liked to keep up his mask of serenity. Sometimes he allowed some happiness to show when he was enjoying something they were doing. He had even shown contentment once or twice but never something as vibrant and strong as this.

When Wesley had still been new in his house Will had wondered what the angel felt about being here but after there had been no negative reactions, attacks or escape plans he had started to forget about it. And since they had started to actually life together instead of just coexisting it had stopped occurring to him that Wesley might be anything but happy.

It was foolish but Will had never wanted to have to see himself as some kind of enslaver. He had committed many horrible things during the war but back home he had vowed to be better. Only now it seemed that he hadn't gone better at all.

Now, after years of living together was the first time he actually realized how Wesley truly felt. It was heart breaking to hear his angel sing like that, to realize how much he missed his freedom.

It was such a mundane things, something that should have occurred to Will long ago but never had.

"Wes." he murmured, feeling like the sorrow of the other being was going to drown him.

How could he ever have deprived someone of their freedom and thought they could be happy Will didn't know. But he had. And now he was faced with the desolation he had brought to the one person who had made him feel alive again.

Will didn't know how he was going to fix this. Or if he even could.


	9. prelude to war

After that haunting night Will had never lost a word about the way Wesley so obviously felt. He still caught Wes looking at him sometimes and now it was clear that there was more to his looks than what Will had previously thought. He wondered if Wesley looked at him and thought of all the different ways he would hurt him once he was free.

Or if he asked himself why Will wouldn't let him go, how he could keep him in chains after he had seen how much it hurt him and still think himself a good person. Though Wesley should know by now that Will thought himself to be one of the most awful humans around.

Will never caught Wesley singing again though he found the angel gone from the bed more often than not. Every time he was tempted to follow him, to see where he was and maybe hear that haunting song again. It had hurt and shook him to his core but still he wished he could once more hear what his angel truly felt instead of whatever front he felt like showing Will.

But he stayed in bed, allowing Wesley the one freedom he could give him. Despite what he felt and how much he hated himself for it he couldn't let Wesley go. He might find all the proper reasons for it but the truth of the matter was that Wesley was the only thing that brought Will through the day. He might hate himself for the rest of his life but at least he wouldn't end by chocking on his own vomit after another night of drinking and destroying his property.

Things didn't much change between them, at least on the surface. But Wesley became more distant from him, at least Will felt that way. Maybe he was just getting paranoid, he wouldn't put it past himself.

But despite the awkwardness that sometimes filled the air and the uneasiness that boiled up in Will whenever he couldn't stop himself from remembering that Wesley was an unwilling prisoner Will still felt better with Wesley here than he had ever done alone.

The fact that he had learned how much Wes longed for freedom wasn't the only thing that had put a strain on their relationship.

On the news the reporters were still speaking about peaceful times and the success of the last war effort, how it had bought them a long and lasting peace. But Will knew better. Even in his worst conditions he had never failed to keep up with what his friends that were still in the armed forces had been able to tell him. And the news that he was getting now got more and more worrying with every day.

Demon forces had been sighted rotting together and they seemed to be more and stronger than they had been before. And this time there didn't seem to be just one frontline developing, instead demons were popping up all over the place. On strategic points all over the world.

Humankind had nearly lost the last war and Will didn't believe they could beat the demons if they had improved troops and strategy.

The governments were pulling their troops together, discreetly for not as to not cause panic in the population but everyone knew that this was going to get ugly and it seemed that this might just be the last war they were ever going to fight.

Most of his old friends had sounded resigned to the fact that they were going to loose this time. No matter how much Will had prodded, no one had found even one grain of hope. The only thing most of them wanted was some more time with their family and loved ones. But while no one said it out loud most of them knew that they were never going to make it back home from the frontline.

It troubled Will and while he didn't really mind dying he knew it meant that his time with Wesley was going to come to an end soon and he wasn't quite ready to give that up yet.

Wesley seemed to know something was going on as well. How he did Will didn't know, after all he had no communication to anyone outside and Will made sure he never heard any of his discussions. He felt uneasy with the thought of letting his angel know that the demons might well be taking over the world soon.

But Wesley definitely knew. He was tense all the time and when Will caught him looking out of the window now he didn't detect longing but an odd mix of determination and resignation.

Maybe the angel already knew how this would end and was well aware that they were going to loose. Whatever was the case it silently ruled the house, making even summer days seem dark.

Will spend much of his time in the library these days. He couldn't just sit around and be idle when he knew there was a war knocking at their door. As much as he enjoyed the time he could spend with Wesley and loathed the knowledge that it would all be over soon that didn't stop his need to be prepared.

He needed to be sure that he had all the information that might give them a fighting chance. Obviously that was a fruitless move and Will knew that as well as everyone else but that didn't change the urge. And he really didn't want to die so he wasn't going to act like everything was lost even if that was the truth

Aside from studying strategies and old wars Will also had taken up the physical part of his training again. He ran a lot and made sure to gain strength as well. But what turned out to be the biggest surprise and at the same time the most pleasant one in recent events was when he found out Wesley could indeed fight.

Will had been going through some martial arts forms on his own when suddenly he had found Wesley standing in front of him. The angel had stood a few feet away from him just starring at him.

By then Will had been used to Wesley's tendency to stare at things for extended periods of times and he had simply continued through his forms. That was until Wesley took a stance across from him. To say Will had been surprised would have been an understatement.

He was reluctant at first but once Wesley had him on the ground for the first time that reluctance was gone completely. It was replaced by a strange kind of joy. He would have never though he had missed fighting, at least not the way he had missed chocolate or a good beer in the war but sparring with Wesley made him come alive in a way he hadn't felt for longer than he cared to remember.

It should have him worried but instead Will embraced the dance and the opportunity that training with an angel offered.

Despite his limited powers Wesley was an opponent to reckon with, he knew moves that Will couldn't even really see and had mastered the art of using his wings as a weapon. He might not have the brute force Will used but he had agility and speed to counterbalance it and he didn't show any kind of hesitation in using it to put Will on his back in the ring.

He learned a lot from Wesley, who taught him what was going to be useful for him. But what he loved most was what came after their sparring, their bodies full of bruises but their spirits flying high.

They would shower - separately - and then meet on the couch to tend to their wounds and curl up together. Sometime Will would take one of his books and read to Wesley though it was never one of the ones about war

He knew the notion was silly but to him his angel still was innocent and he didn't want to burden his spirits with stories of death and destruction. It was enough that one of them had to carry it.

Will had taken up shooting again as well. He was still good but he needed to be in top form if he wanted to survive even a day.

Demons didn't take kindly to humans who shot at them and Will didn't plan to die of a rookie mistake on his first day back in the trenches by not killing them on the spot.

He did his damnest not to wonder when going back to war had turned from a possibility to a fact. So far it was working.

There already was a small, improvised shooting range at the back of his house. He had built it when he had just come back and shooting at targets was the only thing that kept him from going out and searching something real to kill.

Wesley seemed to hate it when Will got his firearms out to train. At first Will had thought that it might be because of the way that Wesley had been captured but he had gotten his doubts over time. Wesley seemed far too angry for it to just be about his capture.

There was something fundamental in the way he sneered at Will whenever he saw him after practice. Wes wouldn't even come near him until he had showered and changed clothes.

But despite this things seemed to go smoothly between them, well as smoothly as it could be if there was a threat of war hanging over your head and no one willing to talk about it.

Neither Will nor Wesley allowed any of it to stop them from enjoying what may well be the last days or weeks they had together, maybe had at all.


	10. a call to arms

When the letter finally came it was hardly a surprise. War had broken out a month ago and the government was rapidly loosing, all pretense was gone and by now it was fairly obviously they were scrabbling for survival.

The news were talking about nothing else anymore even though informations were few and scattered. Much of what had been believed to be true one day turned out to be false the next. Will suspected even the military had a hard time figuring out what was really going on.

This was more than the fog of war, the demons must have gotten better at breaking their communications down. As it was it seemed that those bloody monsters had gotten better at almost everything.

Whenever a truthful report came through it was always a bleak one for them. The demons seemed to crush their lines despite their lack of modern technology.

It seemed that even the news that they got where things that the demons wanted them to hear and why shouldn't that be true, the children of hell could only benefit if the humans were so disheartened by what they heard from the war that their fighting spirits died

What they probably hadn't considered was humanities will to survive. If you asked Will it was stronger than ever. Despite the losses and all the horrible news that came from the front there were more volunteers than Will had ever seen.

He had taken to making regular trips to the town since the war had broken out. He needed to feel useful again and so he had volunteered his time to make sure all the vital parts of the city would keep running despite a myriad of shortages.

Sometimes though he just walked through the streets, trying to figure out how the collective mood was. The military leaders of their country may still be in denial about that one but everyone who had ever been on the frontline knew that a battle was made or broken by the spirits of those fighting it.

It wasn't much different with the bloodless war that was being fought behind the frontline back at home.

Wesley had been even more uneasy ever since the war had begun. He had taken to pacing the house for long hours and he hardly ever slept these days. He still hadn't said a single word to Will but it seemed like he was listening to something whenever he was wandering through the empty hallways.

And that that wasn't the only change, Wesley seemed to have become even more clingy than before. It wasn't a bad thing and Will quite liked all the time they kept touching but it was something that he couldn't fail to notice.

He wondered what it meant but all he could come up with where things that meant bad things so he stopped thinking about it and just decided to go with the flow, which seemed to be a good decision when it came to Wesley in general.

The evening before the letter arrived it had been even worse and Wesley had barely allowed him to get up to go to the bathroom. As he numbly held the piece of paper in his hands it all started to make sense.

Will opened the envelope with dread, already knowing what he would find inside

He was going back to war.


	11. a distant sadness

It was just a few hours before Will had to report for duty at the army base. He and Wesley were standing on the balcony, the same one he had heard Wesley sing a lifetime ago.

They were both silently watching the sun rise behind the horizon, slowly bathing the world in light red as blood. It was a fitting morning in Will's opinion, there would be nothing but blood waiting for him once this day had truly started.

He knew he should be afraid, angry maybe. But he was oddly at peace with his fate. The only thing that he was going to miss was Wesley. The angels company had kept him sane and happy. It was probably a good thing he wouldn't see Will descend into madness once more.

Will was sure Wesley would be disgusted with him if he could see what Will was truly capable of.

Wesley stood pressed close to him, one of his wings curled around Will, the other around himself in order to keep them warm on this cool November morning. It felt like there would be snow soon. Will hated snow, it made the blood that much easier to see.

But it wasn't like he had a choice anymore. His country was calling for him and he was going to answer that call.

He was grateful that he was getting this last peaceful memory to keep him alive when he went into the war again. Maybe he wouldn't drown in blood completely and there would still be something left of him when they killed him.

Will liked that thought, the last thing he would remember would be Wesley. That was the way it was supposed to be, at least for him. He wondered if Wesley would miss him when he was gone like he would miss Wes. Those doubts had been there before but never quite this strong. He was scared Wesley might be nothing but glad to be rid of him.

But even if this should turn out to be true Will preferred never to know. He wanted to go to his death with the memory of a Wesley that had loved him as badly as Will had loved him. It would make letting go of life that much easier.

When the sun had completely risen Will turned around towards his angel. The key in his palm no sweaty and slippery but if anything that just made the importance of this moment clearer.

Will knelt down and started to take of Wesley's chain. It took some time to get all of them of. It was obvious that they weren't actually supposed to be taken of, no matter what they had told Will when they had fitted Wesley with them. There probably had never been a master who had actually decided to do it.

If he was going to die, no one else was going to get his angel. He was setting Wesley free.

When finally all of the golden chains had fallen to the ground Wesley stretched out his wings in a high arc over his head. The lack of glittering in the soft feathers looked at the same time wrong and incredibly right.

Will had come to stand before Wesley again, reaching out with his hand to touch him one last time. Wesley allowed it, even welcomed the embrace. He let Will cling to him and didn't show any indication that he minded his master's desperation.

But finally Will could feel Wesley squeeze him close and he knew that it was time to let go. There would be nothing gained for him by blindly clinging to his angel for the rest of eternity.

He felt Wesley press a kiss to his forehead before the angel gently pushed him away. In this moment Will wanted to say so much to him but instead he kept silent, watching his angel step onto the balcony with dread. He wanted to tell him, tell him much he loved him, how much he needed him. How he would have been lost without him a long time ago.

Not a word left Will's lips. Instead he watched Wesley standing on the ledge, his wings stretched wide in the clear morning air. There was a bright smile on his angels face as he turned around to look at Will one last time.

And for the first time Wesley spoke.

"Thank you."

Then his angel plunged backwards from the balcony only to raise seconds later in a graceful arc. He flew high over the house, circling over it for a few rounds before finally shooting of into the clear morning air, away from all the terror and pain that awaited humanity.


	12. soldier side

Will lay on the ground, his eyes staring up at the sky. He really wished the last thing he was going to see would have been a bright blue sky, maybe with some little white clouds and a few birds. A beautiful summer day or any day for that matter as long as it was clear and would allow him to die in peace.

But of course the demons didn't even give him that. It had been month of fighting and dying. Will had been in one of the last units to survive. Under normal circumstances they would have long run but there was nowhere left to run. All that remained were small islands in which humanity still existed.

All of them knew that if they ran another of those islands would be destroyed. They were the last stand and while it might be a hopeless one Will had known that everyone of his men had been determined to take as many demons with them as they could.

Most of them didn't have anything left in this world and all they wanted was revenge. Will had thought that they were probably better of than the ones who knew that their loved ones where still out there, aware that it would only be a question of time until the demons got to them and they would die a gruesome death.

All of this were thoughts that were going through his head as he lay there in a disgusting mix of blood, mud and other things he really didn't want to think about.

The sky wasn't clear and blue it was filled with smoke so thick that you couldn't see what lay beyond. The stench of death and decay and pain made it hard to breath, or maybe that was his crushed chest. Will wasn't so sure anymore.

He couldn't feel his legs but he wasn't sure if they were still there at all so that was okay.

Will had been in the path of an especially vicious and big demon and despite all his years of training and all his preparations he had been down on the ground within seconds. And now all he could do was wait for death.

God, he was so cold. If he had to die why did it have to be so cold, why did it have to be here? So far away from all that he had cared for. His death didn't even mean anything. There was nothing won, nothing of importance to protect. They were all doomed, no matter what.

Light came closer to him and it took Will a few minutes until his hazy mind realized that there was someone approaching and he didn't only bring light but also warmth. Will wondered if this was a demon, someone to torture him in new and inventive ways.

"Hello Will."

The voice was soft and warm, so was the hand that stroked through his hair. There was sadness in this voice but also a bittersweet happiness. He was sure he knew the owner of that voice but his eyes wouldn't open, no matter how much he willed them to open.

Will tried to struggle weakly as the stranger's hand wandered to his neck but he was as weak as a newborn kitten.

"Open you eyes Will. Come on, open your eyes for me. If you just open your eyes everything is gonna be alright."

He didn't know why but for some reason he believed the stranger. It was probably a bad idea but he was going to die anyway, what more could possibly happen to him.

Opening his eyes proved to be harder than he thought. He struggled with his own weakness, with his own need to just sink into the void and let go. But he had been told not to, he had been told to open his eyes and he wanted to. He needed to know who had come to him with all this light and warmth and familiarity.

His eyes slowly fluttered open, the movement painful due to the blood crusting his closed eyes.

"Wes?" he croaked out panic flaring in him.

His angel couldn't be here, he would be hurt, the demons would catch him! But before he could drain the rest of his weak strength by talking more Wesley had put a finger on his lips with a smile, silencing him effectively.

"Come with me Will. There will be no more pain where I can take you. You will never have to let me go again and you will never loose another soul." Wesley whispered softly to him, both of his hands now framing Will's throbbing face. The soft fingers were soothing balm on his burning flesh.

Will didn't need to think about his answer, all he had ever wanted was to be with Wesley.

"Yes."

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter Names taken from:  
> 1) Battlestar Galactica Soundtrack - the shape of things to come  
> 2) Doctor Who Soundrack - The Girl With No Name  
> 3) Battlestar Galactica Soundtrack - are you alive?  
> 4) A Perfect Circle - Pet  
> 5) Lacuna Coil - You Heaven's A Lie  
> 6) Doctor Who Soundtrack - A Perfect Prison  
> 7) X-Men Soundtrack - Rage and Serenity  
> 8) Doctor Who Soundtrack - Song of Captivity and Freedom  
> 9) Battlestar Galactica Soundtrack - Prelude To War  
> 10) Battlestar Galactica Soundtrack - A Call To Arms  
> 11) Battlestar Galactica Soundtrack - A Distant Sadness  
> 12) System of A Down - Soldier Side


End file.
